Monday, 5 March 2012

My thoughts on Justin Fucking Bieber


Justin Fucking Bieber has landed a $10.8m house on Hollywood Hills.

Let me explain my feelings about Justin Fucking Bieber. 

In a nutshell, I quite literally despise the whiney little bumfluff-lipped jizz rag.

- When the adverts for his god awful Christmas album came on telly I would press mute and shut my eyes so fast you’d think it was a sex tape featuring our Lindsay or something. #EveryDadsWorstNightmare. 

- When he pranced around making an utter bad bell of himself on stage with the right honourable Stevie Wonder on the XFactor USA final show, I had to take such deep breaths you’d have thought I was in labour.  If Stevie Wonder could see fuck all he would have swung for him, tellin yer.

- When you get all these screaming teenage “Beliebers” on Twitter making him trend every single day in some form or another... it makes me want to go to Twitter HQ wherever the fuck that is and beat the living shit out every single person who allows it with an old splintery cricket bat covered in AIDS and dog diarrhoea.

So yeh, I don’t like him much... so I have spent months and months trying to ignore the fact he even exists. But now ... Here I am innocently reading the Mail Online and I find out the little feltch remnant has landed this £10.8m house and my hatred has risen to another level completely.

What the CuntingFUCK does a midget little only-just-18-year-old need a house like this for?


Surely that pool edge is dangerous for a fucking toddler? And the open fire has got to be a no-no?

What the CuntingFuck does a scrawny little fuck with NO PUBES need a bedroom like this for?

 

For all that sex he ISN'T going to have??? He looks too young to even wank?! Bet he almost reaches jizzing point and just pisses everywhere.

And what the CuntingCuntingCuntyFuck does he need a dining table like this for?


His McCains Potato Smiley Faces and Alphabetti Spaghetti will look the part on there wont they, the fucking whopper.

I’m gonna have to go and lie down.
Laters

5 comments:

  1. Another CLASSSSSSSSIC there Jimmy. "Stevie wonder would have swung for him if he could see fuck all" hahahahah

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  2. I can see him coming round one day from a Rohypnol induced coma, arse in tatters, to see Purple Aki doing widths in his pool.

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    1. I did not need to drug that little Canadian cunt. he was begging for it

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  3. "For all that sex he ISN'T going to have??? He looks too young to even wank?! Bet he almost reaches jizzing point and just pisses everywhere."

    Fucking classic you Jimmy, almost fell out of my chair.

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