Friday, 29 June 2012

Joe ThunderCat / ThunderCunt Hart

So, the day before England played Italy,  I seen Joe Hart on the telly and I finally realised what he looks like.

It had been bugging me for ages...

There'd be nights where I lay awake, tossing and turning, and tossing... thinking of Joe Hart.

And then it came to me, whilst he did his Pre-Italy interview.

A Thunder Cat.

Joe Hart looks like a Thunder Cat.

For those who missed my tweet and comparison pic at the time, here it is again: 

So this was BEFORE the England v Italy game.. and what does he go and do in that game, during the shoot out?

Pulls weird Thunder Cat faces .. trying to put off / 'scare' the Italians!

Did it work lad? Did it put them off?  Did you win?

Nope.  Nice try lad.

Best  bit was... did it put Pirlo off?

Nope... Pirlo had an absolute worldy of a penalty didn't he.  In all of his 456483 years of being alive, he'd never taken a better penalty.

So what do you end up looking like Joe Lad?

A cunt.

A Thunder Cat, crossed with a cunt.

A Thunder Cunt.


Tuesday, 26 June 2012

The Blog Break

Alright yoooz lot?

Missed my blogs haven’t you?

Going to start up blogging again soon due to popular demand.. Had a bit of a break haven’t I, like them queg students who take a Gap Year during Uni to go and find them selves  a.k.a  have gay liaisons with Thai Lady Boys.  Or them blokes with high powered banking jobs who have a nervy-bee / midlife crisis and have to take a ‘career sabbatical’ when the cleaner busts them photocopying their dangly balls whilst singing “I am the music man” or some shit.

Granted, my reason for the ‘blog sabbatical’ isn't quite like that...   Its coz Go*ogleAdverts banned me after the HUGELY successful Open Letter to Joey Barton.  (That he's still crying about and came in Garlands looking for me and we all know what happened there)

But because that blog post got over 5000 RTs and over HALF A MILLION VIEWS... It flagged up with the Go*ogleAdvert police.  I imagine they have a special unit, similar to The Matrix, who sit around eating donuts until some shots get fired then NEEE NOORRR NEEE NORRRR off they go in the yellow vans..  #FTM

So, got busted by TheGo*oglePolice didn’t I and they sent me a pyaaaar arsey email saying I’m banned ... They owe me £200 from the advert clicks that my superb blog of comedic finery had generated them.

Was back in May all that wasn’t it.  And I’m still sat here scratching me arse skint with no £200 off them.. And I don’t get any Panto money till Xmas do I... And Rick Vaughn still owes me the £20 appearance fee for when I rocked up and served chicken at his on Come Dine With Me.. 

I've been had off.

So...  had a brain wave didn’t I .. and I've been messing about with a PayPal. What we can do, loyal fans, is cut out the middle man.

Instead of having to click loads of adverts about some shit Tshirts that you don’t even want, or some “Sex Potion” that you know is gonna melt your cock off ... Lets cut out the middle man and you can just gizzza quid direct to go towards my denim fund!  

Simple.. If my blog makes you laugh .. If it brightens your day.. If you share it with your mates and get ManPoints for “TopBanter”  *cringe*   THEN SHOW YOUR APPRECIATION and give us a quid.. £2 .. a fiver..  a tenner...  towards my denim fund..  Depends how rich you are doesn’t it?

All you have to do is click my shiny new PayPal button, logo below or over in the menu bar on the right.

Put in the amount of ££ you wanna give me, and log in with PayPal. Or yer bird’s PayPal. Or yer Ma’s PayPal.

Include your @ name when you donate so I can thank you. And nominate a subject for what you want me to blog on next.

Lets see how it goes..  Someone give it a test for me.

They do say that Liverpool is the most charitable city in the whole country ... so get raaaar on it and get Jimmy some ££ for his new denims.

Nice one you top scousers x x