Tuesday, 3 July 2012

AN OPEN LETTER TO KATIE PRICE


Greetings trout-lipped slaggamadaggama,

Which brand of pink velour tracksuit are you lounging around in today? Juicy Couture or Versace And have you got your glittery Uggs on or your diamante Converse?

My reason for writing is of course not to establish what god awful ensemble you are wearing, but to question a few things that have been bugging me.

1) What the utter fuck have you done to your lad’s hair?


Poor lad. Poor poor lad.

As if he’s not got enough on his plate?  He’s Dwight Yorke’s lad for fuck’s sake. That’s punishment alone.  Then he’s got that Peter Andre tool crying about him that he misses him and that ..

And lets face it – not the best looking lad in the world is he? Bless him. He was about 3 stone when he was born or something wasn’t he?  And you go giving him a hair do like that? To help him “blend in” ? To help him “be normal” ?  Has he not been sent home from school?

You’ve basically drawn all over his head with some chalk?  A load of white lines and then a frog.  A fucking frog. What lad wants a frog on his head?  I’d sooner see a Nike tick and an undercut.
And then... you’ve got the cheek to tweet that he “loves it” ???  How on earth can he love that monstrosity .. ???

Is he blind??  Oh...  Soz about that...     Bit sly doing that to a blind lad? Right?  I'd have to go to prison if I'd done that to a blind kid.



2) The things you tell the press

If I did a survey now about whether you are an attention seeking media whore or not, I’d like to think that the results would be unanimous.  You’ve had more desperate reality TV shows than The Osbornes, more publicity stunts than any other ‘celebs’ I can think of, and you rock up at the opening of cereal boxes and that don't you, forever launching a new perfume range / make up / awful book / own range of tampons in 'bucket fanny' size etc..

But girl, why do you have to tell the press this? :

Q: “What’s the rudest thing you’ve ever done in the name of love?”

Katie Price: “I fucked Alex Reid up the arse with a vodka bottle.”

(source: Now! magazine)

REALLY?  You have got three kids. Fuck’s sake. Do you really want your 3 kids knowing that?
Granted they’ll have seen your tits and flange in every lads’ mag going, and they’ll know you’re an absolute dirt valve.  BUT do you really want them knowing that much?

I can’t even express how fucked up I’d be if from a tender age I knew that my Ma goosed my Dad / some bloke up the arse with a bottle of Voddy.

And Alex Reid? Of all the people.. Chimp faced, sawdust brained, ubercunt Alex Reid. Was he dressed as his alleged alter ego Roxanne at the time?

To be fair, I’d sooner see Peter Andre with a bottle up his arse.  Preferably a broken one.
And you know what the aftermath would look like?

YOUR LAD’S FUCKING HEAD WITH THAT JOKE OF A HAIRCUT !



3) Your Range Rover

All the money in the world, and you’re driving round in this eye sore:


I wouldn’t step in that if you paid me.

If it was pissing down, freezing and I had no shoes on and I needed to get somewhere 100 miles away and I had no money – I wouldn’t step in that.   I’d walk.  I’d crawl.   I’d even get dragged by a sledge of Huskies attached to my foreskin, before stepping in that god awful contraption.

And your number plate??  Really?   KP11 HOT?  Fuckkkkking hell.

Here,  I’ll give you a heads up when I see B4D SL4G come up at the next DVLA auction.

...

Right that will do for now, as I can’t even be bothered spending anymore time on you.
But on a genuinely serious note – stop acting a twat, for the sake of your kids, you've earned your money so just settle down and be grateful for what you've got...  They deserve a more normal life – where they will never ever ever ever hear about what depraved sexual acts you perform on your boyfriend(s).. Ever.




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33 comments:

  1. grow up you old guy. making jokes about her son. how low can anyone get

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    Replies
    1. Erm ... have you seen what SHE did to the kid's head?? She is making the jokes of the lad.

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    2. Mate what's more of a joke is she did that to her own sons head, even trying to rape the limelight/media through doing obscene attention seeking shit to her kids head. So pull your tounge out of he gaping wide c*nt

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    3. HERE HERE! KP is a bad attention seeking slag who ABUSES her kids basically , to get attention. Seen when she done her 3 yr old girl up in make up and false lashed extensions and that !??

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    4. You legend Jimmy, that was brilliant.

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    5. She earn money fron selling storys about her child who is blind and has some other illness

      And when franki boyle made that joke what did she do YER she got her own show about it hahahaha

      Delete
  2. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ... fucking brilliant !!!

    slaggamadaggama !!

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  3. Haha keep em coming had me laughing me head off

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  4. Brilliant you bad slag JC!

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  5. The picture of Jordan looks like something out of the Banana Splits! Fucking whore bag!!

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  6. FUCKIN MINT LMAO!!!!!!

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  7. well well after reading this blog ...katie price is the worse slag on this planet ...a blind kid with a multi colour picture shes off her fucking head !! then i saw about this bottle up alex ass it brought them Memories back when that bird pumped a wine bottle up self !! on big brother ...youtube it !! as for her pink car ...bad taste if my girlfriend had that colour car ..my mates would take the piss am tellin ya !!!

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  8. Love your stuff lad but feel its a little too far with Harvey stuff! If you had a disabled son an someone wrote that about him you would be fuming an hurt! The rest of the rant is perfect! Freedom of speech an all that but think on lad!

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  9. You keep saying it like it is jimbo, if the fuckwits can't see what youve written as fact then heyho! Bless them.

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  10. this is quality .. people need to get a grip .. she exploits her kids constantly.

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  11. disgusting saying that about harvey.shes a great mum.dont think she would have got mum of the year otherwise.the world would be a boring place if we were all the same.shame on u jimmy.

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    Replies
    1. MUM OF THE YEAR HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

      This comment was taking the piss right?

      Delete
  12. Its fucking ridiculous that she won She won 'celebrity mum of the year' she's fucken loaded so she can buy her kids what ever they want and the stupid whore is never with her fucking kids they are always with her ma or the 'nanny'. It musnt be hard to win if kerry kotona won it, pair of creatures.

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  13. Class!fuckin blind twat!

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  14. Haha she a cunt of a mother her i blame her for that kids illness all the shagging and partying she done when she was prego

    I remember watching a tv show with her and she offerd peter andre a blow job and put harvy in some stupid chair and a mirror fell on him and she blamed the child minder

    Then when he was in hospital papparazzi took a picture of that kid cut to fuck she kicked off saying taking pictures of her illl child but that soft cunt sold her story about harvey getting injured she a discrace of a parent fucking media loving slag

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  15. Spot on Jimmy, if she won mum of the year Josef Fritzel must have got dad of the year. Ugly attention seeking slag who will stop at nothing to get in the papers.

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  16. you are a disgrace

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  17. Who is Katie Price?

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  18. I take it none of you nob heads who agree with this are parents and jimmy no longer have a career to trash others get a grip

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  19. says you hiding behind a computer screen probably never had a job in your life trying to be funny skitting disabled children you should hang your head in shame and remember karma is a bitch.

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    Replies
    1. Stop takin life so seriously, free speech ? Stop getting on your moral high ground !
      Don't read it if it offends you.... It was funny as fuck!!

      Delete
  20. this is the funnyst thing ive ever read & weather you like it or not its all very fucking true

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  21. Katie Price is a Whore, and all you lot who thinks shes a great mum, jog on , shes more bothered about where shes getting her next cock from !

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  22. How about an open letter to Jodie fucking Marsh please!!

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  23. the one good thing about the kid being blind is that he can't see that god awful fucking haircut

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  24. People are sick takin the piss out of harvey. Its true about his mother but dont bring him into it. I hope u disgusting people out there have a serious accident and become disabled. Lets see whos takin the piss then u fuckin sad twats!!!!

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  25. Hang on a minute Jimbo .... every no mark, has been and wanna be that's had the misfortune to park one up her has gone on to bigger and better things (well maybe not bigger than her chuff). Think about this, who the fuck was Dane Bowers to anybody till he rogered her a few times ? And Peter "tool" Andre ? For fuck sake the last time anyone saw him was way back in the early 90's when he was pouncing around in a puffer jacket in front of screaming teeny boppers, then nothing. He was on the bones of his arse, not a pot to piss in, resorted to working in his brothers gym to pay his digs. Fast forward to 2004, appears in "I'm a celebrity get me the fuck out of here" (shows you how far down the food chain he had gone) charms the tea bag sized thong of KP, straps the plank to his back and fills her up a few times. Now look at the little twat, own TV shows, new record deal, trousered a nice few quid of KP to fuck off and unlimited flange camping outside the gates to his fuck off mansion !
    And Alex fuckin Ried ? Z list celeb with a few mind parts to his name scratching a living getting marled half to death in a fucking cage. Meets KP and the same shit happens, own TV show, front pages of the papers, tarts queuing up to hump him and even he's just released a single !

    Now you know exactly what I'm thinking here Jimmy larh. Yes you fucking do lid. All you gotta do is throw one up her a couple of times and before you know it channel 4 will have Brookie back on our screens. Gohead Jimmy, do it for Liverpool. At the very least you'll get a reality show, think about that, instead of Peter Andre : My Life where we get to watch the the little spunk trumpet mince round blue water shopping centre buying Ed Hardy T shirts and D&G trainees before sitting outside some poncy cafe having an afternoon latte we get to watch Jimmy Corkhill strutting round L1 nabbing some new demin gear, a new pair of Samba from TRABS in St John's, then fucking off down the winey to get bladdered. Is right, what a fuckin show that would be ! Do it Jimmy lad, you knowwwww you wanna !

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