Jimmy Corkhill's Photographical Review of The Grand National

So, after my blog about how to Keep It Scouse At The National went down such a treat, with over 7000 views, I thought I’d take the time to do a Photographical Review of all the disasters that failed to take my advice, and rocked up and made bad shows of themselves:

Here goes:

 

Exhibit a) Not too bad a start, decent outfits, decent figures .. then OH MY GOD what is the face on that third one? The one in the tan?  Looks like the Birkenhead Tranny’s twin brother:

Exhibit b) No clue what’s happening here.  Are they feather earrings or is it a feather boa or did something just crash land in her chips or what?

Exhibit c) Lad? What the actual fuck? Really lad?  Why?  Actual WHY?   

Never seen anything as queg in my life.

Exhibit d) So .. this bird has fallen head first through the Gypsy Wedding dress maker’s shop.. Then her 3 year old messed around with it a bit.. and then her fella placed the pearl necklace on there?  Bad state.

Exhibit e)   WHAT is this on the right???  Looks like she’s had off a Pimp .. robbed his coat and hat ??  Has she no mirror? Has her friend no tongue? Really?

Exhibit f) What an absolute belter this is.  Some lad has actually let his Ma out the house looking like that.  There are so many things wrong with it.. I can’t even begin.  She reminds me of an old Crown Street prozzy I affectionately nicknamed Candle Wax Face.

Exhibit g)  Told you this would happen didn’t I?  Shoes off, tears.. vomming.. Making a bad mess of yourselves.  Bet yer fella still isnt talking to you is he love?

Exhibit h) Dear Lord...  someone’s Ma here taken a turn for the worst.  Can you imagine??!  Our Jackie got herself in that bad a state one time and I never forgave her. Ended up noshing a bizzy the utter whore. 

Our Lindsay was fumin.

Exhibit i)  Tight shiny suit -  check ...  Sunnies – check ... Being an ABSOLUTE WHOPPER-  check...

Exhibit j)  These two have GOTTA be from Wigan?  Nice saggy nips there, bird in the pink top.

Exhibit k) Just put her down and put those thunder thighs away... Tree trunks.  Also check out the GORGEOUS steward in the background

Exhibit l) Now what did Uncle Jimmy say about Panto Dame crossed with Gypsy Wedding?

Exhibit m) I don’t even need to say anything for these two do I ?

 

Exhibit n) Here we go .. shoes off.. snarling down the  to your fella coz he has swerved you.   

Told you, didn’t I ?

Exhibit o) And last but not least .. this utter buffoon of a man always has to gegg in doesn’t he. Does that cardigan / coat thing actually have Buffalos on it? Really lad?

Being Blocked By Imogen Thomas

My thoughts on being blocked by Imogen Thomas:

So ... I tweeted @Imogen_Thomas and @CharlotteChurch to ask if this was theirs:

That Chazza ‘Voice of an Angel’ Church hasn’t replied yet... Probably busy smoking outside The Asda or something.    But for some reason, the right honourable role model of society Imogen Thomas took it upon herself to block me:

 

Ok so ... my initial reaction  was this:

“HAHAHAHAHAHA  NOT ARSED !!”

And then I knocked out a few quick off the mark tweets about me and Ryan Giggs now having more in common than a bald patch.

.... But then I thought about it a little more as I munched on a nice packed of crisp, and, well I had to ‘Ponder the Point’ of whether she has any right to take the moral high ground over a bit of Twitter banter?

Correct me if I am wrong, but this is the very same Imogen Thomas made most famous for being a home wrecking slag, yes?   

The very same Imogen Thomas who repeatedly managed to open wide for Ryan Cunting Giggs, yes? 

The very same Imogen Thomas who then tried to blackmail Giggs (not that I would piss on him if he was on fire like) about going the papers with a kiss and tell, yes?

The very same Imogen Thomas who then sold her story and caused that high court drama with the whole Giggs Being Named On Twitter saga, yes? 

And the very same attention-fucking-seeking shaft-whore Imogen Thomas who tweeted this very picture just a matter of days ago, yes?

Oh yes, Saint Imogen of Cock, it quite clear that you only use Twitter for professional purposes and encourage no forms of banter / abuse. Yes.  Of course.

Have a fucking word with yourself, you fame hungry slagamadagama ...  

You’re just a blag Catherine Zeta Jones anyway, like... Jog on.