It’s usually his top lip hanging there like a badly packed kebab that
annoys me.. But now he is deciding to change the meanings of phrases to
try and worm out of trouble?
One could say that Rio is a :
One could say that Rio is a :
Shithouse (n) Someone who ‘gives it big guns’ and then retracts and
squirms when trouble comes knocking
I was highly amused by Rio’s antics over the weekend. He, by proxy,
calls Ashley Cole a ‘Choc Ice’ which every single person on earth knows to be a derogatory term for ‘black on the outside, white on the inside’.
But in Rio’s Dictionary:
Choc Ice (n) “Someone who is fake.
So there.”
Amusing, in that the could have called that little runt Cole something
simple, like a “CUNT”, or, say a “QUEER FAG BASTARD WHO PUTS MOBILE PHONES ON
VIBRATE UP HIS ARSE” and no one would have batted an eyelid.
But setting aside that small matter, Rio’s own definition of Choc Ice
has inspired me to share a few other ‘classics’ that might be in Rio’s
Dictionary:
RIO'S DICTIONARY - Volume one:
Moving House (v) : Deliberately missing
a drugs test after being off your face *allegedly
Stay On Your Feet (phrase): A
catch phrase launched to pretend that an aging, injury prone footballer is
actually at the height of his game and is tackling everything that moves, when
really, his back legs have gone.
Murking (v) : Acting a twat and trying to have your mates off
with lame as fuck practical jokes, and telling them, “You Got Murked” on TV,
but just looking a cunt yourself through the whole process.
What
reasons? (question) :
Realising you are too shit, even for England, but instead of taking it
on the chin when you don’t get picked, publically questioning the Owl-faced
buffoon who manages England, via Twitter.
Cringe.
Ayia
Napa Kappa Slappa (n): the woman who features in the embarrassing porn
vid with Rio, Lampard and Dyer circa 2000
*allegedly
Lamp-roast (v): To spit roast aforementioned Ayia Nappa Kappa Slappa with your England team mate Frank Lampard
Doing
105.9 (v): the acceptable speed to travel on most motorways,
before finally getting banned
Self
important twat (Adj):
Description of Rio Ferdinand
Soggy Ham Butty (n): Description of Rio’s top lip
Slug lip (n): Description of Rio’s top lip
Badly packed kebab (n): Description of Rio’s top lip
....And I know its not in alphabetical order.. but his top lip and bottom lip arent in order so why would his dictionary be?
Tweet any submissions for Rio’s Dictionary to @MrJimmyCorkhill #RiosDictionary
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Head like a smashed tarantula.
ReplyDeleteThe "Rio" Swiss Army Knife. A Tool for every occasion
ReplyDelete'Twitter' verb transitive. Commercial opportunity to flog fashion products to 3m followers (regularly topped up by a bit of controversy).
ReplyDeleteAbsolute cock knocker :- description of rio.
ReplyDeletehow has he got that many followers? shows how fucked up the world is
ReplyDelete